Getting to know you: Jack Docherty

What’s your earliest memory?

Being restrained in a doctor’s seat to have grains of sand removed from my eyeball with what looked like a needle. I was about four. Real Clockwork Orange vibe.

What were you like at school?

Pretty insufferable. I liked being the centre of attention. But as Graham Greene said ‘look back on your teenage years with tender contempt’.

Who would be your dream dinner date?

My wife, Kate. There’s a pretty good chance she’ll read this.

What’s your greatest fear?

Scoring an own goal playing for Hibs against Hearts in the cup final. At my age, a receding fear.

What’s the worst things that anyone’s ever said to you?

My Dad, with a look of pure delight, ‘you’re losing your hair, fatty’. Makes me laugh every time I think of him.

What’s your most treasured possession?

My still beating heart.

What do you dislike about your appearance?

Oh pretty much everything. I only own one mirror and I shave with my eyes closed.

What’s your guiltiest pleasure?

Growing dahlias. 

If you could go back in time, where would you go?

1999 and buy a ton of Apple shares.

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever had?

Have no ambition but work as though you did. Katzantztakis. (unfortunately, I have no ambition and work as though I didn’t)

What skill should every person have?

Making a decent lemon tart.

What’s the worst pain you’ve ever experienced?

Childbirth. I tripped and smashed my head on the edge of the gas and air canister.

What’s your top film or TV programme of all time?

Absolutely on Channel 4. I’ll happily admit there are better programmes but it’s the only one I got to make with my school friends.

What was your best holiday ever?

I recently went hiking in Yosemite with my kids. Pretty hard to beat.

What was the last book you read?

I have a young friend, Maddie Mortimer, and she has a book coming out next year called Maps of Our Spectacular Bodies. It’s insanely good.

The Chief will be grilling party leaders in Scot Squad: The Chief Does Democracy on BBC Scotland, Thursday 29 April, 10.00-10.30pm