Sketch: The University of Dundee is in Graeme Dey's thoughts

The minister in charge of universities would like to send his “thoughts” to the University of Dundee. Graeme Dey appreciates that staff will be “understandably anxious” that the university’s leadership has moved to gut a fifth of its workforce. And so, the MSP has written a strongly worded letter to management, outlining his “deep concern” about it all.

Those in charge of University of Dundee will no doubt be quaking in their boots at the thought of this letter. It might contain dreaded ALL CAPS to show how peeved the minister is. Or worse, it might take the horrible not-angry-just-disappointed tone. Dey, who is soon to be retired after he announced he won’t contest the election next year, is honing his letter-writing skills, an excellent use of his final days in office as he prepares for pensioner status.

He does need the practice, it seems, as he goes on to reveal in the chamber that the letter might not have been as strongly worded as one might hope. “We’ve assured the university that it will continue to have the full support of the government to return itself to a sustainable footing,” he says. He’s gently chided the university, but not so much that anyone might be held to account. And it seems the “full support” he intends to offer is merely moral support, and not much more.

SNP MSP and Dundee local Joe FitzPatrick, who raised the topic in an urgent question, said it was “simply not acceptable” that the university was planning so many job cuts. Ministers must consider “every possible option to save jobs”, he insists, ferociously as a kitten.

Dey replies that some job losses will be “unavoidable” given the size of the deficit, but he hopes to “manage down” that number. After all, the SNP has proven to be quite adept at managing down numbers – teacher numbers, police officer numbers, the proportion of patients being seen on time by doctors, all down!

FitzPatrick graciously thanks the minister for his “response and efforts”. Did he hear something different in Dey’s answer than everyone else? Anyway, he moves on, trying to find a source of blame for the problems. Naturally, he’s decided it is the fault of the UK Government. It is the UK’s attitude to immigration and the increase in National Insurance contributions that are the cause of Dundee’s problems, FitzPatrick argues. And absolutely nothing at all to do with the chronic underfunding of higher education, a fully devolved issue, as warned about by several universities over the years.

He also decides its fairly safe to blame the university’s leadership. He highlights that there might be some scepticism that senior staff can come up with a “credible proposal” for recovery, given all the evidence so far. Particularly as just days before the redundancy announcement, the university started advertising for a transformation director with a hefty salary of £200,000. “What further support can be offered to the university to bring in the required expertise without resorting to the employment of another senior manager at an eye-watering cost of £200,000?” FitzPatrick wonders.

Dey is baffled by “how the university got into this situation”, saying many questions remain unanswered. And he pledges to engage with the institution further to consider how it can resolve these issues “without incurring additional cost”. Though notably that isn’t really an answer to FitzPatrick’s question.

Other local MSPs are keen to comment. Green MSP Maggie Chapman believes a “hatchet man” is perhaps the wrong solution, which is difficult to argue against if that’s what is proposed. Tory Maurice Golden suggests “artificial intelligence” might be a solution. Bringing in robots to clean up their mess is probably appealing to ministers. Lib Dem Willie Rennie accuses the government of not being “ready” to respond to the problem – to which Dey simply replies that Dundee has made “no ask” of him. Hmm.

Labour’s Michael Marra believes a loan – actual money – might help the university get out of its financial hole. It’s a novel idea. But something about Marra seems to have riled up the SNP, and Dey accuses him of not being “credible” when talking about money because Labour didn’t back the SNP’s budget.

“You cannot sit credibly and demand more money for the University of Dundee if you, Mr Marra, and your party, both refuse to back the monies that were contained within the budget,” the minister says. Make of that what you will.

It falls to Pam Duncan-Glancy, a shrewd MSP, to notice that despite Dey taking questions about the situation for 15 minutes, there have been very few answers. “What exactly is the government going to do?” she wonders.

That goes down like a lead balloon. A frazzled Dey says he has “already” given universities £15m. How generous. And while his response is neither an answer nor a solution, it doesn’t stop him highlighting, again, that Labour didn’t back the budget. So rude of them. How dare they come forward now asking questions about money when they refused to agree to give out some money.